Surprise!

‘Raj, I can’t depend on you. I can’t even relate to you anymore.’

‘It depends, Smita….everything is relative.’

Smita, quite disgusted, switches on the TV. Her nuclear physicist and forgetful husband could never quite get the love fusion right.

BREAKING NEWS….‘India’s pride: a team of nuclear physicists led by Dr. Rajendra Bhonsle has successfully implemented nuclear energy generation for mass consumption. He states, ‘This project will empower our villages and is the most peaceful way to show off our nuclear prowess. Peace to all’.

Smita, brushing off her tears, smiles to herself. There couldn’t have been a better birthday present.

P.S: This started as 55 fiction but somehow grew to become a Drabble, just didnt have the heart to reduce it any further. all thanks to Kartz for introducing me to this concept 🙂

36 thoughts on “Surprise!”

  1. 🙂

    She should ve learnt now – patience is virtue. 😛

    Heh heh heh, and welcome to *Drabbling*; for those who feel 55 words is not enuf. ;D

    Good one, buddy! Keep ’em coming!

    Peace.

  2. Kartz
    🙂 thanks! drabble is a life saver, man! thanks for introducing me to it. n heres some eclairs for the winner >O<>O< :) Minator
    hehehe..if only he could remember trivial dates!
    ohh..just missed ah? new comers who come second also get an eclair..>O< :) Lancelot
    eeeeeoooooooiiiiii…my tongue’s all twisted now..what were u saying???

  3. 55 fiction?? Drabble?? I need to do research and find out about these writing styles… I’ve got no idea as to what these means, right now 🙂

    I know only 3 philosophies of writing… – “Zyada likho” , “Kam likho” , and “Kuch mat likho” 🙂

    And oh, good post! Speaking of which,

    Question: How does a nuclear physicst pay compliments to his wife’s figure?
    Answer: “Wow darling, you are such a bomb!”

  4. Hmm. Sorry but I think that Drabble is just an excuse for a failed 55. Might as well write a (longer) short story

    Plus the story didn’t satisfy me. If our protagonist is feeling dissatisfied in life on a baser level which her first staremet indicates, the news won’t make her love her husband all over. She obviously doesn’t care about the villages of india or she would have heard about this beforw it became a news flash. Infact, the mood that she is in, this will only prove to her that great disconnect between the two that her huaband made the greatest invention of his life and his wife doesn’t evwn know about it.

    So can’t agree to praise this one. Better luck next time. 🙂

  5. wow Vinnie… this is cute 🙂

    loved this one and the concept too..

    guess I should start to Drabble and dribble more 😛

    take care mate… cheers…

  6. nuclear puzzles of love 😛 what were u thinking?? one hell of a reaction wud be.. handle with care ‘n watch those tears, might react with the elements around :))

  7. Drabble blabber dabble bribe c rabble scrabble blabber rabble bible, dabble, marble,gabble, babel, babble,

  8. Parikshith
    🙂 n u always follow 1st n 3rd philosophy..well, thanks for visiting n ur comment..the joke is ekdum phataka types!

    ST
    🙂 thanks yaar!

  9. Velu

    i agree Captain, i should have stuck to the original story at 120. taking off the 20 words probably dissatisfied u as it diluted the essence of the story.
    but, having said this, i dont agree that drabble is an excuse for a failed 55, in fact i believe all formulas like fiction 55, drabble (fiction 100), flash fiction (fiction 1000) have their purpose defined clearly to suit all forms of story telling:)

    well, the essence of the story is this … the wife has missed her scientist husband’s affection all these months since he was busy in the ‘peaceful uses of nuclear energy project’, thats y her first statement. since such projects also involve top secrecy wherein even family members dont know, she didnt know what he was doing at work. this day, on her birthday, she expected him to at least remmeber n wish her…that too he forgot:( with the TV headlines breaking the news of what he was involved in, she was overwhelmed n proud of her husband…a great man but a forgetful one, but so what!!

    thanks for the feedback, Captain. it means ur taking my writing seriously. means so much for me, really:) thanks again.

  10. Arv
    thanks yaar! do try it..all the best 🙂

    Aditi…….:)
    thanks sweetie 🙂

    Peter
    hehhee..this is 100 fiction! Kahani sau shabdo ki…shukriya sir, aur aap bhi try kijiye..ATB!

    der Bergwind
    my IQ is at an all time low at -90, so i presume that u liked this…thanks man:)

  11. wild child
    thanks girl..do try it too..

    Amal
    thanks man! yep, the sad ending ones..i wanna stay away from that!

    Karthik
    thanks K….i safely presume that u loved it!!

    Kanagu
    thank u saar…will try my best!

  12. vinnie i jus read velu s comment and your ans to it…

    he has a damn good statement and he made it well and you answered it good…

    he is one good critique……..

  13. Ashwathy
    thanks girl..its ur wish ! u r a brave woman!

    Chriz
    yep, she didnt know…if wives start killing their husbands over not telling something, most husbands would be dead by now!

    Pavitra
    thanks girl! thanks for visiting..

    Muthu
    thank u! yep, Captain is a useful commentor..he has vowed to make me a prize winning fiction writer!

  14. Nice inventions coming up on the blogs…
    55 fiction
    and now its the new one Drabbling….

    I guess Drabbling will be more powerful when we are writing emotions isnt it?
    Like this one!
    good one!

  15. Unknown!!!
    hehhe..what an insight!
    thanks saar!

    Rushabhh
    thanks yaar!
    55 fiction can also express emotions lekin 100 fiction (drabble) gives more leeway to emotions, background story, etc.
    well, i’m no expert but do check some of my 55 fictions from the labels…do try it too:)

    sm
    thanks sm!

  16. Sawan
    hehehhehee..insensitive?!! can’t be, this scientist is ethical in his profession n cares for his wife, he has only forgotten her birthday!
    his statement that ‘everything is relative’ shows he is sensible n a worldly man!
    coz of 100 words restriction, i couldnt describe what happened after she realises n is overwhelmed…i guess the ‘insensitivity’ is shown as part of the wife here!

    in ‘love!’, the guy loves his wife despite her big nose, fatness n droopiness!

    in my first 55, i had a womaniser guy, dont they exist??

    bhaaki sari kahaniya r social issues/ messages 🙂 i have written so few stories yaar…i wonder what made u feel my male protagonists r insensitive? !!

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