10 Lies about me :)

1)I am very cautious and therefore often appear shy and reserved to others. I share my rich emotional life and my passionate convictions with very few people. I have a pronounced inner system of values and clear, honourable principles for which I am willing to sacrifice a great deal.2) I am always at great pains to improve the world. I can be very considerate towards others and do a lot to support them and stand up for them.

3)I am interested in my fellow beings, attentive and generous towards them. Once my enthusiasm for an issue or person is aroused, I can become a tireless fighter.

4)For me, practical things are not really so important. I only busy myself with mundane everyday demands when absolutely necessary. My motto is “the genius controls the chaos”.

5)I am less interested in details; I prefer to look at something as a whole. This means that I still have a good overview even when things start to become hectic. However, as a result, it can occasionally happen that I overlook something important.

6)As I am very peace-loving, I tend not to openly show my dissatisfaction or annoyance but to bottle it up. Assertiveness is not one of my strong points; I hate conflicts and competition.

7)I prefer to motivate others with my amicable and enthusiastic nature. Whoever has me as boss will never have to complain about not being given enough praise!

8)The feelings of others are important to me and I love making other people happy. I am satisfied with just a small circle of friends; my need for social contact is not very marked as I also need a lot of time to myself.

9) Superfluous small talk is not my thing. If one wishes to be friends with me or have a relationship with me, one would have to share their world of thought and be willing to participate in profound discussions. If you manage that you will be rewarded with an exceptionally intensive, rich partnership.

10)I do not fall in love head over heels but when I do fall in love I want this to be a great, eternal love.

Do check out what personality type are you at  http://www.ipersonic.com/ Have fun and do share yours too!

Will the real fat cat pls stand up?

Disclaimer: Dont read this post if you do not have any kind of personality disorder.

Will the real fat cat pls stand up?
Please stand up. Please stand up.

As u crawl thru the cables, the routers and towers
As u creep in thru the network of flyers
U burn much of ur fat-ass, n the gang’s too!
U fat old cat, clearly an imposter, aint u?
So care to stand up for who u r
Who u were n ought to be…
Will the real fat cat pls stand up?

Coz I gather, u have a life as much as I do
Go live it fatty – coz It may end soon
What? Stop staring n shut the fuck up
U r the real fat cat- go on, admit it
So will the real fat cat pls stand up?
Please stand up. Please stand up.

U’ve messed up big time, u’ve lost face, he he
U’ve only begun the realisation, oldfox, aint he?
That sly n shady, rickety old fox
N sometimes the pooh in mask
Who aint got a shot!
So care to raise ur hand at least
Tomorrow u may stand up, a lil shaky beast

Tear off those masks, burn the muti-dimensionalities
Come on, admit it, u wanna break free
Will the real fat cat pls stand up?
Please stand up. Please stand up.

P.S: Dedicated to me and my million n counting readers, who wanna break free from self-illusions and identities!

In circles…

Beyond the unknown, yonder our arguments
I feel your smile – the smile that knoweth all

As the eternal mystery commenced
You chose me just as I chose you
Yet I felt this choice to be in vain
Yet I was playing the denial game
All awhile, quiet annoyed with you

And as the mystery unfolded with time
Along came the storm, the surges gushed in
In all its wilderness, they snatched you within
I was left aghast, my feeble mind dislodged
For the first time I saw, that which was

You strived to not let go of me
You fumbled around helplessly
Like a true warrior, you rose above
In numbed realization, in divine bow
It was the moment of Truth for me
That which triggered a whole new quest

And in that quest I happened to see
A time, a memory, a forgotten me
In which I felt you and I felt the vast
And as it all is in a constant state of flux
A flux that drove me by kind insight
Through a journey – a bewitching flight

No matter what ebbs and tides lay in it
No matter the debates about virtue and vice
As time stills the eternal menace
I find myself moulding unknowingly
And before I saw the carvers’ knife
I had realized – I had become you
The you, I never knew about
The you with the smile that knoweth all…

P.S: Today is a special day. It is the third anniversary of my dad’s passover to the infinite skies. This poem is my message to him and I know he will understand and smile! Yes, there are mutual jokes in it 🙂
Sorry friends, I’ve disabled comments for this one… n thank you all for respecting the need for silence between us.

The 25 wala bug!

OK! Here goes my 25, thanks to Sawan who will never fail to tag me.

1. I love blue (mind you, I’m referring to the color here, as in RGB= 0,0,255)

2. I love wolves and I love sheep too, it’s only when the wolves come in sheep skin, I turn into a werewolf!

3. Think twice when you say ‘Get Lost!’ to me, coz I usually get lost as a rule twice a month! I once got lost near my home while I was returning home after midnight! Nothing to worry about really…its called ‘directional disillusionment’.

4. I cry when I’m happy too, so you may see me crying most of the time!

5. I am a die-hard dreamer. Staring at nothingness is my favorite past time!

6. I am a gypsy at heart. I want to tent all over our beautiful planet.

7. I love the hills; I feel I am as old as the hills. I would like to have my dream home somewhere at the peak with only ‘blue’ skies to watch outside my window.

8. I love tea, especially the ginger or cardamom flavored. I dream of sipping such tea while dreaming as I look out of the window of my dream home!

9. I dream about baby fingers and toes – this could be a maternal instinct, I don’t know.

10. I love food. I could eat anything that is yum including baby-fingers!

11. I have grown up happily suffering from IBS – Imaginary Boyfriend Syndrome. I never imagine any body from the ‘real’ world. It has to be a ‘special’ soul and most definitely on the moon playing away his lute.

12. I am a terror of a daughter to my mom. I blame her for everything right from giving birth to me to loving me till suffocation to the misuse of nuclear power! Poor mom! May no mom ever have a daughter like me 🙂

13. I don’t believe in superstitions even though my mom drills so many into my peanut brains. I do everything opposite to annoy her and disprove the myth about them.

14. I cannot whistle.

15. I had 33 teeth.

16. In my entire childhood, I asked only one toy from dad – a bat and ball to play cricket with! A blue balloon was the usual one I got without asking.

17. I want to do something for physically challenged people.

18. I don’t know if I will freeze on a stage, coz my ‘teaching’ job at NIIT killed that ‘freeze nerve’ long back. And now that I am gonna be a celebrity, I better get used to crowds!

19. I am the best under pressure. So I hardly do much when there is no rhyme or reason.

20. Still I don’t know why I bashed up a little boy when I was in kindergarten???

21. I once tasted blood since this boy who was my partner in std III got badly bruised and told me to suck out all the blood flowing out otherwise he would die right away of sepsis!

22. Amongst all the men who deserted me, ‘Dad’ is still the one, my only Hero…I simply cannot be angry with him. Dad, I love you so and badly miss you too. (in case you read this!)

23. I believe in HIM since no other explanation can be had for the miracles he has wrought upon me.

24. I have been blessed with friends whose Friend-ship help me sail across smoothly in the sea of life!

25. ’25’ swapped across to become ‘52’ during kindergarten…I may have been mildly dyslexic.

26. I am tough competition to Ravan. He he ha ha ha ha… he he ha ha ha ha…

27. I nearly wish to be invisible sometimes – I get scared when people stare!

28. I live in extremes; either over-excited or over-sad 🙂

29. Oops! I have crossed the tag limit in my over-excitement!!

30. To round off at 30, last but not the least, Sawan is also my first blogger buddy, thanks Sawan saar, its been a beautiful journey thus far.

P.S: Phew!!!! (Vin shakes her head and wonders)– how do I filter out such tag requests/ demands ? 25 oh come on…my fans need more of me!
Please consider yourself tagged when you have read until here.

Atif – older and better!

Har dua mein shamil tera pyaar hai
Bin tere lamha bhi dushwar hai
Dhadhkon ko tujhse hi darkar hai
Tujhse hai rahtein
Tujhse hai chahtein
Tu jo mile ek din mujhe
Mein kahin ho gayi lapata…
Kar diya Deewana dard-e-Kash ne
Chain cheena isqh ke ehsaas ne
Bekhayali di hai tere pyaas ne
Chaya suroor hai
Kuch to zaroor hai
Yeh dooriyan
Jeene na de
Hal mera tujhe na pata…
Atif, I love you, Atif, I love you…
so…Atif, I love you
Oh I love you!

P.S: Atif, just in case you read this, here’s wishing you a million and still counting… happy returns of the day!

Keep rocking…you simply never cease to amaze me every new number you sing…you rule, man..you simply do!Pics courtesy: http://atif-aadeez.blogspot.com/

Wanted: A Knight in matte cotton shirt!

Well, I’m no more a teenager with stars in my eyes and I’m ages away from being referred to as an adult female homo sapien. Now imagine me singing that Britney number – I’m not a girl…not yet a woman, but please, without her curves for Christ’s sake, mine are better! I am single now by choice but in love with my teddy who reciprocates unconditionally. So, one may safely presume that I’m stuck somewhere in a time warp! I also suck at every day relationships right from the traffic policeman, the building dog and her newborn litter, the crows nesting outside my kitchen window right up till the society watchman and the Sai baba temple pujari besides. Nobody seems to acknowledge my presence. I am the living dead or the dead living! And, my mum thinks only a man can save me now by way of marriage to me, Poor man!

So, is marriage the ‘be all and end all’ to a girl’s identity? Well, maybe! Every goddamn form wants to know your father and/or husband’s name. But, I’m in no hurry, I like it when the dogs stay away from me and I don’t find crows any cuter; what to say about the other ‘assorted’ folks, I come across every day if relatives are not enough punishment already! This is what I gather from their eyes, nose, ears et al except their tongue – Oh, She is waiting for Mr. Right! She is expecting Pierce now, and I mean like ‘N-O-W’! She thinks she is the diva queen- all this with giggles and muffled jokes doubting my sexual preferences. So, I take this opportunity to all and sundry – I am straight, very much straight, and as straight as a line joining two imaginary points anywhere and as straight as a light ray. I am not waiting for Mr. Right; he is as common a sight as an UFO (unidentified flying object). Well, I am no diva queen or any other queen either; I am just a girl at heart with dreams of an enchanting home somewhere bubbling with my kids and my partner for life.

So, all I want is one common man – any man with loads of common sense and can see through the obvious. Most definitely loaded with fresh jokes on him at all times. He should preferably be dressed up in matte cotton shirts only, I don’t fancy ‘shining armour’ anymore; you see I’m not into fairy tales and ‘happily ever after….’ fantasies. Apart from the usual attributes of TDH (tall-dark-handsome), absolutely great sense of responsibility, great conversationalist, great listener, great lover, best friend, the better cook, the hygienically-inclined, the ability to withstand female nagging, the supreme strength to change diapers every hour and that too cheerfully, genuine love for my folks – especially my mum, etc. etc., I want only an extra bit thrown for good measure to be referred to as my Mr. Right and that would be – ‘He should simply love me for no rhyme or reason’. I abhor terms and conditions in love and will go to any length to break all of them intentionally. Now, is this asking for too much?

Maybe, yes! Apart from the cotton shirt, how can one man alone be gifted so? So, nowadays I have started thinking on these lines – my preferences and the ultimate choice or the world’s preferences and a so called compromise! And I have come to this – I’m pretty soon going to forget the very essence of marriage if all these attributes are not present in a single man. Isn’t it exciting to be single and mingle with all the separate aforementioned men? Or, I will just place a finger on any of the profiles placed in front of me and make my mum and the other ‘interested parties’ happy?

Lost !

…………………..this is what happened to me on a routine trip to my art materials supplier shop and one would wonder – it’s a routine trip, so how come Vin? Well, it so happened that the usual map I have in my mind after losing my way many times before, got deleted! Not accidentally though…remember the old culprits, those naughty germs in my brain. Yep, they were at it again. For those millions of my new readers, unaccustomed with my germs, please read an old post titled ‘Manzile apni jagah hain….raasthe apni jagah and GPS’, with which I also made my debut in Blogywood. Only the title is long but the post isn’t, I swear!

Let me make a few things clear first:

a. I am not directionally challenged. I challenge the directions.
b. Those germs are entirely a figment of my imagination. I only delete the brain map since I sincerely believe that if there’s a will, there’s a way. Agar chah hain, tho raah hain…..Hum honge kaamyab, ek din!

Things occurred somewhat like this….The shop is called ‘New Bombay Stationary Stores’ and it is as old as the Gateway of India gifted to King George a long long time ago. It is located in a lane called ‘Abdul Rehman Street’ in CST. There are millions of shops in the same street and another million roads in and around CST near Crawford market. Now, there aren’t any hoardings or billboards on this lane ‘Abdul Rehman Street’ so poor Abdul! Nor are there any trees, so poor me! What do I use as a base for my brain map then? Imagination …Life is my creation!

Unusual sounding shops would be the new billboards for me. When I returned from my second trip which was a long long one, needless to say that I got lost that day, I decided to take immediate steps for the map drawing. So, this is what was the route: the lane starts with the biggest BATA showroom – then Toy World – some shop selling arms and ammunition – a bylane called ‘Zanzibar Street’ – keep walking on the right till you see the red post box – that’s it, bang opposite the post box is a stupid shop selling labels and stickers (the shop isn’t stupid, the shopkeeper is and I’ll tell you why in a little while).

I have been somewhat successful in reaching my manzil with the help of this map in my subsequent trips, until yesterday which was my 7th or 8th trip maybe. It so happened that I had to hunt for new suppliers for a new idea I had. In the process of doing that, I got lost somewhere in that dingy lane, but this was nothing new. Getting lost was also a routine thing now.

I tried to get back to my route map, but just couldn’t find any of the strategic places I had made a note of. I was in the middle of millions of shops selling everything that man aspires to have, including maps. But I needed a personalized map – a map that understands me. Anyways, chah hain…raah bhi milegi….so, I inquired at a nearby shop if he knows the now popular AR street. He nodded sympathetically and pointed straight another 50 shops ahead. It was noon so no sympathy from the sun. Poor me walked straight ahead, keeping an eye for the red post box or any box which is red would do.

I finally got there and the stupid shopkeeper of that labels shop was grinning at me. He somehow knew of my days happenings. My face said it all! Our eyes met and we made the last conversation hopefully. He seemed to say ‘Kya madam..hamesha aathi ho yahi…hamesha punchthi ho…phir bhi’. I too gave an answering ‘look’- ‘main tho pehle baar aayi hun..woh meri judwa behen hain’ 🙂

By the way, I have decided not to go to that New Bombay stores anymore, I have found an easier route to a shop called ‘Himalaya Art stores’ bang opposite Sir J J School of Art!

Jahan chah…vahan raah. Jai Himalaya!

My weight-gain program!

OK, I am 6 kgs lesser than the ideal weight required as per body mass index and I too won’t tell you what my current weight or height is. Numbers are just that…senseless finite measures in an otherwise incomprehensible infinite universe! Though you may take a guess…even a moronic actor like Tusshar Kapoor can carry me but if he dares to do so, I swear I would claw him to pulp with my 1-inch nails! I am slim and daring but only not the healthy weight.

Now, coming to the weight-gain program designed by me, my action points are simple and derived from logic: Do the opposite of everything that is prohibited in all weight loss programs. So I checked Dr. Nigam’s, VLCC, Pretty slim clinic and a few others with quite impressive punchlines ‘Lose 8 kgs in 45 days or your money back’!! All they talk about is proper controlled diet and hell loads of exercises. So, it’s got to be the ‘eat and eat till you drop to sleep’ mantra for me then! What happened later is another story…

I have been gulping just about everything ever since I became aware of being underweight to the point that I got digestion related disorders, lactose-intolerance related disorders and not to mention my extreme affinity towards ‘rich’ foods – I began having a bar of chocolate every other day! Sadly, nothing had worked to the point required and I had been able to gain only one kilogram. One kg may be significant when you are in a weight loss program but trust me its nothing in a weight-gain one! Even stretch jeans look comfort fit on me.

But, me the woman of substance err the woman of slightly-less-substance was firm in her conviction. She believed that ‘Where there is ghee, there is also loads of fat gleefully settling around her for nonstop gossip” Many beauty conscious women avoid ghee so I thought this is perfect for me. I started dreaming about all the fat I’m about to gain, what women would say when I pass by : ‘Hey, look at her…she’s got it all man…all that plump and curves…I wonder how she got it?’ and all the south Indian movie directors making an offer to me – I would be their next plump heroine starring opposite Rajnikanth! Imagine me dancing and jingling all that adipose and becoming an instant heart throb of the south Indian men in the country that’s nearly 50 % of the Indian male population! WOW! Also, all the channels would be vying for my interview, my ‘before’ and ‘after’ pictures would be shown by worried mothers to their teenage daughters who have been corrupted by Kareena and her senseless size zero; the plump me would be the new youth icon (female)!

Ghee it was that finally worked, but only a few grams. Stretch jeans still look comfort fit. I do sleep more with all that ghee but my constantly active brain like a cloud of mosquitoes buzzing over you on a night safari breaks down all that adipose into God knows what…I still can’t find much fat! I still look like ‘Laurel’ when I am with real ‘Hardy’s’.

Then it dawned on me. What my mom really wanted to say all these months and what she ended up actually telling me!! She always referred to my married friends, relatives, and neighbors and never failed to make a special mention of their post-marriage physique which was the ideal one. This means the only way for me to gain was to get married. Now, how can I even think of ‘doing it as a weight-gain exercise’ without getting married? Sounds exciting but hell, no..can’t indulge in it, I am better off looking like Olive Oyl…surely there’s a Popeye waiting for me somewhere…sometime! Ok Dreamland again!! Maybe, Pierce Brosnan, that hot Bond – his wife is really huge now:) The World is Not Enough!! Tomorrow Never Dies!!!

Dreamland zindabad…

A Second Chance!

brushes dried up in solitude
dusty boards are idling by
fragile thoughts sway so often
i let sow; now i wonder why

the gates of gold shined through

in all their majestic glory
a thousand beams of hope lit up
but my dreams, alas i gave up

i gave in to the devil within

as temptation clawed me so
i knew the road was not for me
but the simplest as one could see

show me a way as soon as can be

to buy back my soul, my spirit, my being
o lord, do not take me as i am
but take me as you want me to be

in You, my dream was born,

around You, i made it dance
o please forgive, do not abandon me
as all i need is a second chance!

Lessons learnt in the year gone by…

1) Never be obsessed with your name; it’s just a dead asset which never appreciates or depreciates in value no matter how beautiful your name is! The final judgment is not based on your name; rather it’s what you have achieved to live up to it.

2) A friend forever in need is a foe indeed! In fact, a foe can be dealt with but these – they can be classified rather as ‘parasitic organisms’ that believe in living off the sweet nectar prepared by some busy bees like you while they go fluttering awhile. You the busy bee wouldn’t even know what’s been eating you from within!

3) Never trust a woman’s tears; chances are that you would take an altogether dangerous path in the process of wiping them away – a path which no man has dared to ever take in an otherwise tranquil state of mind, and then realize that the path is a one way and her tears: the perpetual waterworks gifted to her as an organ of offence and defense.

4) Sympathy is the most inhuman emotion; not even for your enemy should you show any sympathy. Every one of us wants a fair fight, a fair strife, a fair share – no matter which side we are on…even the physically challenged! Never confuse sympathy towards a friend as ‘love’: it is everything but love which springs from respect and acknowledgement of man’s true potential.

5) Look at the donkey seriously. It carries burden without any appreciation or expectation of concern ever, moreover it never complains, though tired and moves on in the present state as if there is no tomorrow. Next time, be grateful if someone calls you an ‘ass’ and direct them to this post!

6) Forgiveness is difficult but the only path to freedom, agreed! So, always start forgiveness as a ‘down payment’ followed by monthly installments. This attitude to ‘forgive’ always works than trying to forgive all at once, which more often leaves open scars. Who knows, in the process…one day forgiveness might come as a natural response to hurt!

7) Learn respect for duty as a higher form of love from the trees. Trees will live only silently; do their duty without a sigh – never heard of a tree that stopped giving sweet fruits since some insane human cut its branches or cut it off altogether. The tree is wise enough to gift its wood for our shelter as if its fruits are not sufficient reciprocal to mankind’s barter.

8) Kidnapping a child is not always bad. A child when it is a prostitute’s one especially should be kidnapped and gifted to ‘childless’ couples. There is no other ‘shameful’ childhood than being a whore’s kid even malnutrition and nakedness can be outgrown but the shame associated with such roots always leads to ‘dis-associated’ adults.

9) I will fail at first, maybe second, maybe many more times; but same was the case with Einstein, Newton and other ‘normal’ geniuses. Every idea or thought has its purpose already defined before originating. A time will come when that idea or thought has fulfilled its purpose; in whose action has it fulfilled its purpose is nobody’s matter. So carry on, be humble. I am just a vehicle.

10) Never take a loan. Being in debt is akin to donating your spine to the devil, neither the devil wants to return it nor will it be returned in all its glory. The only loan we have to accept and continue to repay is that of our Mother’s womb, no amount however large is sufficient enough to tilt the balance in our favor!

11) All energy or matter that forms our beautiful world listens. If I have got pain, it is because I asked for it. Now on, I will ask only for happiness and cease my analysis and judgments for once. God is our loving father indeed!

12) Rub my slate clean. Start afresh. Even a scribble here and there and I will never set out to do whatever I originally intended. So, wishing you all a Fresh New Year!