1) Take my own refreshments – See, I’m a good girl, I listen to my mom. She says not to eat ‘’outside’ food, so I don’t buy anything during the intervals. I carry my own refreshment – a few chocolate bars! See, these are slim, long and can be easily hidden at the bottom of my purse. The ‘chota’ packs can be kept inside the zip pouch or inside jeans pockets! Yey! I clearly remember an incident that would have ‘happened’ before the movie ‘Hari Puttar’, if not for my innocent nieces. Me and my two little nieces, with 3 packs of big 5-star Munch and 3 packs of small Bar One and Perk filled in my jeans pocket, one in little Dia’s frock pocket, one camouflaged under a handkerchief in my purse, one inside the zip pouch! I stood in front of the lady security, unzipped my purse, lifted my hands in the air and challenged her. She smirked, signaled me to take my purse and let us go! My knees finally stopped shaking and I was able to pass through the metal detector. I suspect it was the nieces who are well versed in giving the innocent look or that the lady was kind enough to not deprive us of some chocolate! Next time, I swear I will not let my pockets bulge!
2) Popcorn pellets – See, I’m not a movie person. I hardly remember the story or the sequence in the story except for a few funny jabs and chaps. I’m very restless during any movie except animation! I keep changing my position. I hate popcorn but eat it if I have to. So, once me and my crazy friend Jas, started throwing popcorn at people in the front! Now they were all guys, when they looked behind angrily, we gave them our big ‘Cibaca’ smile. Cibaca smile is the one which shows all 32. These guys were amused and forgot all about the movie. I think that was the debut movie of Arshad Warsi – Naseeb Apne Apne..but again I’m not sure! Later, when the movie got over, we didn’t leave the hall until they had left. They did wait quite some time for us to come but soon realized that our ‘popcorn-throwing’ was the effect of the movie alone and had nothing to do with them! That was the last time I ever bought popcorn!
3) Forced Curiosity/Imagination – Yeah, I never go through the trailer or read any review before going to the cinema. If by chance, I happen to hear particularly bad reviews, I program my mind to convert the bad into good. It works for me! I also realized that it works the best when it is Hrithik Roshan. No movie can be rated with one or half star which has my heartthrob, can it? This habit may not be categorized as crazy after all. It’s the most sensible thing to do when the hero overshadows the storyline, the cinematography, the score or the dialogues. I always imagine myself opposite Hrithik. The whole movie watching becomes therapeutic and I’m healed at least temporarily from love sickness or ‘Imaginary Boyfriend Syndrome (IBS)’. I confess, I imagined myself dancing with Hrithik drenching in the rain in the movie ‘Koi mil gaya’ in my little pink skirt! Idhar chala..main udhar chala..jaane kahan main…kidhar chala….areeyy pisal gaya…..
4) After the movie ? This may not be so abnormal after all. I usually make my plans for the evening or for life during movies. It’s something about the ambience, I say! After being fed on so many of reels of ‘never-gonna-happen’ events, I get inspired to work on real events for which the probability is always greater than 0. It also helps the mind in the logical reasoning box. If so and so can happen in the movie, chances of it happening in real life is always 0 and vice versa! In fact, a friend and me had quite a heated discussion regarding survival strategies and the avoidable or unavoidable situations for using the F word….during the movie ‘The Sixth Sense’! Manoj must have made this awesome movie in an unusual style, but the pace it went at, I could almost see my nails growing!
5) Lip sync dialogues – I love doing this especially for the villains and it usually is so predictable that it comes out beautifully! ‘Kutthe kameene …main tera khoon pee jaunga…’ or ‘Kal moohi, kahan muh kala kar ke a gayi…’. Now, sometimes we also put in our own funny dialogues into a serious situation, much to the amusement of the folks sitting nearby! Sadly, I cant remember any right now. Also, I have this crazy habit of letting my ears catch neighboring dialogues. In case of a funny one meant in double entendre, I force my brains to not process it and respond with my mouth for fear of getting caught! But I did get caught big time during the movie ‘Dilwane Dulhaniya Le Jayenge’. It was during the song ‘Main tere saamne…’, relating to some bathroom joke for Kajol!
6) Short course in Fashion/ Interior Design – A cinema is the best platform for a short course in fashion design or interior design. Don’t you think? Irrespective of whether the hero’s character in the movie is of a poor guy, the hero will most definitely break into a song-and-dance sequence in designer clothes in the most coolest interiors or exteriors possible. The roadside tapori in torn, faded jeans will be shown in designer trousers in a designer office et al. I remember a scene in Vaastav, in which Sanjay Dutt, an encounter specialist and his prostitute girlfriend – Namrata Shirodkar are transformed into two decent lovebirds…all complete with his suit and her saree singing away to glory in ‘phoren’! I usually note down the latest pattern in salwar kameezes and accessories to match for shoes!