Turning three and feeling young again!

I can’t believe our blog – that is also our source of bread and butter – turns three today! Here’s our mascot with the birthday cake:

LI-mascot-cakeAfter a false start on April fool’s day, our blog ‘Lighthouse Insights’ was formally launched on December 1, 2010. A day before I had confided to my hubby and partner-in-crime (then fiancé) that I plan to look for content related jobs to help moonlight my daytime struggle with design assignments I was struggling to find.

Why go outside when you can join me?” he said. Surprised and amused, I asked him what was he talking about!

He sent me a blog link with around 10 posts on marketing, word of mouth marketing, customer service, social media magic and more. I liked the substance in this blog but would I be paid? It was named ‘Bee Societal’ and I couldn’t imagine working for a blog named like that. Also, I was living in Mumbai and we didn’t know when to get married!

When everything is a big question mark, you surrender to the divine forces. I did that and almost magically, we worked on this blog with me in Mumbai and him in Pune. First things first – ‘Bee Societal’ was renamed to ‘Lighthouse Insights’ after a brainstorming session on the phone, minus our brains!

The initial months were full of self-training and observation – social media practices, human behaviour, blog content, SEO basics and link building, digital marketing, Seth Godin, English & grammar (actually studied through Wren and Martin which was optional in school!) and much more. This process of learning kept me engaged and excited as well.

But, the location difference was still a problem and we couldn’t be engaged forever. So we got married. One month later, we moved to a personal domain and there has been no looking back ever since. Within seven months of marriage and the blog’s first anniversary, the hubby put down his papers at the IT company that used to pay our rent and bills. January 1, 2012 to December 31, 2012 was a complete roller-coaster ride of a year, we didn’t know what we had gotten into and didn’t know where it was leading us. With God’s grace, we were able to pass through painful wrists, a broken back, and some ‘medical conditions’ caused from insomnia, nervous tension et al. The most exciting bit was, of course, paying our bills right on the due date!

2013 has been a ‘floating’ experience. Both of our systems have been reconfigured and we don’t remember much of when we fell in love with each other, or when we met and decided to get married. Survival has taught us focus, discipline and perseverance, something our parents tried in vain!

Three years and counting…three years young and getting to kindergarten…relearning the childish way to explore…Thank you God for everything!

The ‘D’ factor no marriage wants to face

 broken-broken-heart-i-loved-you-ps.-sad-Favim.com-54036

Happy wedding anniversary… you guys rock!!!”, I had pinged my long time best friend, on his third wedding anniversary three months ago. Although the green icon meant that he was online, there was no response. And I thought to myself, ”He’s probably missing her.” My friend of twenty years was sitting miles away in the US of A, with his wife waiting for him in Bombay, being apart for only sixty days. The situation called for a sad romantic filmy number, but it was far from it.

Had I known what he was sledding towards that day, I would have been ready for it. The shocking truth struck like a bunch of sharp knives, when he finally broke the silence now, “B & me are going for a divorce,” he shared in quiet a matter-of-fact manner. Ironically, that evening, he had been watching a Gujarati play based on a cheating wife with a good enough reason to do so!

Being married for two years myself, the ‘D’ word sounded scary.

I was numbed for a few moments. Half-hoping that this is some kind of joke he’s pulling on as usual, I asked him whether he knew the meaning of divorce. What followed then was a long telephonic conversation of his three-year marriage ordeal, including mostly about his wife’s clandestine affairs and sly drinking habits. And the worst being her quick, sharp tongue towards his parents, the most community-oriented and genteel beings that I’ve ever known.

The ‘D’ thing has come as a rescue!“ he concluded with a sigh of relief.

It took me a week to get hold of reality; this was to happen anyways…she had started a new affair a couple of months right after the wedding! The mind games she played with him belied the girl I knew of.

She lost her mother when she was 14, and has to tag around her over-possessive father everywhere she goes. She has a degree in psychology of all things. She works as a Human Resources manager, and recently had earned a Masters in HR, hoping to step-up the corporate ladder. Every year sees a grand birthday party for her.  A very strong-headed, ambitious girl, who was always on the lookout for outdoor adventure and learning something new. She had taught me a little of acupuncture when they visited us last year.

I couldn’t digest such extreme variations in one individual. How can one be so positive on the outside, while living out such fanciful extremes on the inside?! It beats me completely.

Meanwhile the divorce is in progress. Right now, as he is battling the emotional void within, she has been harassing him with alimony demands. While this could be a long-drawn affair, as my poor friend fights for justice and freedom, at the same time, it also lays bare the fragility of marriage in this age of Whatsapp, Facebook and other easily available access tools to have quick affairs on the go.

Of course, the fault is not with these tools but the minds handling them.

But, it sure leaves you scared when you have seen quite a few infidelity-led divorces happen to the loved ones in your life. The emotional rupture tearing apart both and if god forbid, there are kids involved, the ‘D’ thing gets all messy and painful, not to mention the harrowing around  for alimony and maintenance of them. Besides, marriages everywhere in the world also involve both sides of the family. And these guys usually suffer the most, as they are mostly parents seeing their children’s lives come apart with their dreams of a happy and secure future shattered.

It is good to be adventurous in life but what good is this kind of a risky behavior, when you were not denied anything at all. I pray that my friend finds the strength to face this and a good companion to make this journey worthwhile.

Image courtesy: fitwallpapers

Moving on….

Hey Guys!

Have moved on to a new blog with a new look and feel. Do come over to experience the new…

Thank you all for giving me this opportunity to express myself. I feel enriched by your stories and am leaving with the good fortune of having been acquainted with wonderful bloggers and your amazing stories!

I wish you happiness forever, though I would also be glad to have you visit me at oldfox004.blogspot.com

~ Oldfox 004

Ithna sannata kyon hain bhai?

the bells have now begun to toll
the eagles above are still midair
where have all the bloggers gone,
is Twitter and Facebook, their new lair?

Now silence ain’t generally my kinda thing. Not that anybody needs to call the cops despite threats to keep me mum. But a silence of nearly a year and a half, now that IS by far a personal record! This silence (read exile) from blogosphere is like the story of the mouse that never got caught in a roomful of mousetraps and then one fine day a hungry cat spoilt the day. But I am the little mouse that never gives up, no matter how frail my chances are! With my ever piling fiscal deficit issue coupled with non-performing assets (pun intended), I guess HE has been too kind thus far.

Well, this exile has done me a world of good and most certainly raised hope for blogosphere. What with fellow bloggers and my million plus readers falling off chairs, bouncing off walls and ceilings, jumping off their roofs and threatening to file PILs at Indiblog BUT I had no such luck. Peace reigned as usual at blogosphere and my absence was appreciated. Not that I am bawling but still a little hunger strike would have been KIND, guys.

All but one – you know there’s always an egghead – egghead meaning ‘I’ll not eat till you eat’ types. Sometimes all you need is a tummy full of words, a loosening glottis and the heart melts as if it were made of candy floss and out pop the words bringing relief at last. That’s ‘blog-o-mania’ for the uninitiated. So here I am for you, you, you and the egghead of course, my kindest four! I cannot promise to be regular though – the last time I wasn’t regular, my doc suggested de-stressing!

P.S.: Thank you all for being there! Now try saying this line 10 times: ‘A cup of coffee in a proper copper coffee pot’. And yes, we could meet over coffee as soon as this damn tongue of mine gets untwisted. Cheers to 2011!!!

In circles…

Beyond the unknown, yonder our arguments
I feel your smile – the smile that knoweth all

As the eternal mystery commenced
You chose me just as I chose you
Yet I felt this choice to be in vain
Yet I was playing the denial game
All awhile, quiet annoyed with you

And as the mystery unfolded with time
Along came the storm, the surges gushed in
In all its wilderness, they snatched you within
I was left aghast, my feeble mind dislodged
For the first time I saw, that which was

You strived to not let go of me
You fumbled around helplessly
Like a true warrior, you rose above
In numbed realization, in divine bow
It was the moment of Truth for me
That which triggered a whole new quest

And in that quest I happened to see
A time, a memory, a forgotten me
In which I felt you and I felt the vast
And as it all is in a constant state of flux
A flux that drove me by kind insight
Through a journey – a bewitching flight

No matter what ebbs and tides lay in it
No matter the debates about virtue and vice
As time stills the eternal menace
I find myself moulding unknowingly
And before I saw the carvers’ knife
I had realized – I had become you
The you, I never knew about
The you with the smile that knoweth all…

P.S: Today is a special day. It is the third anniversary of my dad’s passover to the infinite skies. This poem is my message to him and I know he will understand and smile! Yes, there are mutual jokes in it 🙂
Sorry friends, I’ve disabled comments for this one… n thank you all for respecting the need for silence between us.

Mum !!!

‘And where exactly do you think you are going?’

‘My evening walk?’

‘But, where are you heading? How long will you keep drifting? I’m getting older by the second’.

‘O maa! Not now…I don’t know whats written, do I?…. I’ll be back in an hour’.

‘Huh! But you chose to drift, didn’t you? You quit to find new paths!…..You knew what was written then? You just knew you were in a stalemate, didn’t you?’

‘NO, I didn’t know!…nor did I have any illusions…I just followed my heart’.

‘Huh! You don’t have the luxury, girl…Dreams are better at bedtime. Don’t chase an illusion. You will only fall flat with a void too tough to handle alone’.

‘Maa, I don’t know about my dreams or what I am in for. And the recession isn’t helping either! The thing I’m sure about is, that, I came back for you….Bye..will be back in an hour…keep the dough ready’.

And when the golden sun was setting…

When the golden sun was setting…

amongst the countless rivers flowing
from the purity of thy bosom
there emerged a beautiful rose
the one that beholds, bewitches
but can prick without a spell

To be swept away, thorn and all
down deep valleys, trembling past
the currents crashing, nature’s fury
the rocks striking, nature’s jury?
alas! neither current nor rock
could break her spirit, as she glides by

Downstream she floats, now placid
across little hammocks, little pebbles
a bunch of kids are struck in awe
amidst the enchanting spell
she casts upon her beholders

Lazily she calms down, her strife was of yore
amidst the old hamlet’s tranquil pond
the water is turbid and quiet now
underneath it hid creatures, big and small
does each have a story
of its downstream journey?

Then arose a moon, which lit up the sky
captured by the pond as a billion stars shone by
she glances at her mirror, her resting place
and now it’s her turn to be enthralled
by nature’s tricks and plays!

For there lay on the surface,
an image so heavenly
they may call it a lotus,
a flower with a thousand petals
to be serenaded amongst the murk
to be worshipped with the gods
so, doth the name alter thy strife?

She closes off her petals and sinks for the night
to be awake, to rise and to shine
to welcome at the break of dawn
the golden sun that arises yet again.
to be called a lotus, o! so pure, so divine!

The 25 wala bug!

OK! Here goes my 25, thanks to Sawan who will never fail to tag me.

1. I love blue (mind you, I’m referring to the color here, as in RGB= 0,0,255)

2. I love wolves and I love sheep too, it’s only when the wolves come in sheep skin, I turn into a werewolf!

3. Think twice when you say ‘Get Lost!’ to me, coz I usually get lost as a rule twice a month! I once got lost near my home while I was returning home after midnight! Nothing to worry about really…its called ‘directional disillusionment’.

4. I cry when I’m happy too, so you may see me crying most of the time!

5. I am a die-hard dreamer. Staring at nothingness is my favorite past time!

6. I am a gypsy at heart. I want to tent all over our beautiful planet.

7. I love the hills; I feel I am as old as the hills. I would like to have my dream home somewhere at the peak with only ‘blue’ skies to watch outside my window.

8. I love tea, especially the ginger or cardamom flavored. I dream of sipping such tea while dreaming as I look out of the window of my dream home!

9. I dream about baby fingers and toes – this could be a maternal instinct, I don’t know.

10. I love food. I could eat anything that is yum including baby-fingers!

11. I have grown up happily suffering from IBS – Imaginary Boyfriend Syndrome. I never imagine any body from the ‘real’ world. It has to be a ‘special’ soul and most definitely on the moon playing away his lute.

12. I am a terror of a daughter to my mom. I blame her for everything right from giving birth to me to loving me till suffocation to the misuse of nuclear power! Poor mom! May no mom ever have a daughter like me 🙂

13. I don’t believe in superstitions even though my mom drills so many into my peanut brains. I do everything opposite to annoy her and disprove the myth about them.

14. I cannot whistle.

15. I had 33 teeth.

16. In my entire childhood, I asked only one toy from dad – a bat and ball to play cricket with! A blue balloon was the usual one I got without asking.

17. I want to do something for physically challenged people.

18. I don’t know if I will freeze on a stage, coz my ‘teaching’ job at NIIT killed that ‘freeze nerve’ long back. And now that I am gonna be a celebrity, I better get used to crowds!

19. I am the best under pressure. So I hardly do much when there is no rhyme or reason.

20. Still I don’t know why I bashed up a little boy when I was in kindergarten???

21. I once tasted blood since this boy who was my partner in std III got badly bruised and told me to suck out all the blood flowing out otherwise he would die right away of sepsis!

22. Amongst all the men who deserted me, ‘Dad’ is still the one, my only Hero…I simply cannot be angry with him. Dad, I love you so and badly miss you too. (in case you read this!)

23. I believe in HIM since no other explanation can be had for the miracles he has wrought upon me.

24. I have been blessed with friends whose Friend-ship help me sail across smoothly in the sea of life!

25. ’25’ swapped across to become ‘52’ during kindergarten…I may have been mildly dyslexic.

26. I am tough competition to Ravan. He he ha ha ha ha… he he ha ha ha ha…

27. I nearly wish to be invisible sometimes – I get scared when people stare!

28. I live in extremes; either over-excited or over-sad 🙂

29. Oops! I have crossed the tag limit in my over-excitement!!

30. To round off at 30, last but not the least, Sawan is also my first blogger buddy, thanks Sawan saar, its been a beautiful journey thus far.

P.S: Phew!!!! (Vin shakes her head and wonders)– how do I filter out such tag requests/ demands ? 25 oh come on…my fans need more of me!
Please consider yourself tagged when you have read until here.

The story of my experiments with Truth!

They say, ‘One has to burn to be able to rise from the ashes; the one who can rise thus is unconquerable, the invincible’. This is the only Greek mythology that still remains engraved deep in my heart by virtue of the mythical firebird ‘Phoenix’. I liked the concept so much that ‘Phoenix’ became my email password most of my life! The Phoenix has a lifespan of nearly 500 to 1000 years, towards the end it  builds a nest around itself and burns along with it, and only from the ashes is a young Phoenix born or rather a new Phoenix arises! This too will live a complete life and then evolve in much the same way. Maybe, the Greeks have branded our ‘Garuda’ as ‘Phoenix’, but I love the phrase – Phoenix, Return from the Ashes!

So often we come across our life floating past our very own eyes and we have no control over it. Then, one wonders – ‘Why me?’, but trust me when I say, the question should really be – ‘Why not me?’ Our spirit only knows to fly, though the perceived environment has conditioned us to never fly, to never experience the Truth as we may not be particularly armed to fight the ‘real’ Truth. When Neo is given a choice between the red pill and the blue pill to his question of “What is the Matrix?, he is confronted with two things – one take the blue pill and merely exist in the ‘known, or take the red pill, know the mystery about Matrix and risk the present comforts to a harsh reality which may even be brutal. In our sub-conscious minds, we all are asking that question every moment, and in asking that question every moment, we evolve every moment. Every momentary choice defines our next moment and thus defines our life. So, the question – ‘Which pill?’ is really about ‘What life do I want to lead and how can I rise from the ashes – how can I be invincible?’

I am at this crossroad now and I shall emerge from the ashes hopefully! I need a sojourn with ‘myself’ – my inner being. Each one of you have been my Teachers and with the wise lessons learnt, I need to embark on this journey – the journey of self-discovery! I will return but ‘when’ is the unknown ‘X’ here.

As an ancient Chinese proverb says , “When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other” , so I am off to buy my lily!

God Bless You all…..Be happy always!

Wanted: A Knight in matte cotton shirt!

Well, I’m no more a teenager with stars in my eyes and I’m ages away from being referred to as an adult female homo sapien. Now imagine me singing that Britney number – I’m not a girl…not yet a woman, but please, without her curves for Christ’s sake, mine are better! I am single now by choice but in love with my teddy who reciprocates unconditionally. So, one may safely presume that I’m stuck somewhere in a time warp! I also suck at every day relationships right from the traffic policeman, the building dog and her newborn litter, the crows nesting outside my kitchen window right up till the society watchman and the Sai baba temple pujari besides. Nobody seems to acknowledge my presence. I am the living dead or the dead living! And, my mum thinks only a man can save me now by way of marriage to me, Poor man!

So, is marriage the ‘be all and end all’ to a girl’s identity? Well, maybe! Every goddamn form wants to know your father and/or husband’s name. But, I’m in no hurry, I like it when the dogs stay away from me and I don’t find crows any cuter; what to say about the other ‘assorted’ folks, I come across every day if relatives are not enough punishment already! This is what I gather from their eyes, nose, ears et al except their tongue – Oh, She is waiting for Mr. Right! She is expecting Pierce now, and I mean like ‘N-O-W’! She thinks she is the diva queen- all this with giggles and muffled jokes doubting my sexual preferences. So, I take this opportunity to all and sundry – I am straight, very much straight, and as straight as a line joining two imaginary points anywhere and as straight as a light ray. I am not waiting for Mr. Right; he is as common a sight as an UFO (unidentified flying object). Well, I am no diva queen or any other queen either; I am just a girl at heart with dreams of an enchanting home somewhere bubbling with my kids and my partner for life.

So, all I want is one common man – any man with loads of common sense and can see through the obvious. Most definitely loaded with fresh jokes on him at all times. He should preferably be dressed up in matte cotton shirts only, I don’t fancy ‘shining armour’ anymore; you see I’m not into fairy tales and ‘happily ever after….’ fantasies. Apart from the usual attributes of TDH (tall-dark-handsome), absolutely great sense of responsibility, great conversationalist, great listener, great lover, best friend, the better cook, the hygienically-inclined, the ability to withstand female nagging, the supreme strength to change diapers every hour and that too cheerfully, genuine love for my folks – especially my mum, etc. etc., I want only an extra bit thrown for good measure to be referred to as my Mr. Right and that would be – ‘He should simply love me for no rhyme or reason’. I abhor terms and conditions in love and will go to any length to break all of them intentionally. Now, is this asking for too much?

Maybe, yes! Apart from the cotton shirt, how can one man alone be gifted so? So, nowadays I have started thinking on these lines – my preferences and the ultimate choice or the world’s preferences and a so called compromise! And I have come to this – I’m pretty soon going to forget the very essence of marriage if all these attributes are not present in a single man. Isn’t it exciting to be single and mingle with all the separate aforementioned men? Or, I will just place a finger on any of the profiles placed in front of me and make my mum and the other ‘interested parties’ happy?