An invitation from Mr. Black Cobra!

Yeah, you read that right. It all happened about a month ago. It was 5 am and I was as usual lost, lost not on the god-damn roads without billboards (am directionally disillusioned, remember??), but lost in slumberland!

He stood right in front of me, all black and shiny, now dont ask how a snake stands?; so he balanced himself upright on his coiled rear end and hissed an invite, quite an enchanting invite though I havent learnt the snake lingo, I knew for sure that the enchanting feeling it gave me was indeed my call from above !!! chalo bulava aya hain, mujhe matha ne bulaya hain.

I was glad that at last some-body/animal rather reptile has invited me to its den for some electrifying exchange of thoughts and/or theories, at least thats what I thought it meant. Come on..what else could a shiny, black cobra want from a beautiful girl like me? why else would a shiny, black cobra scare the night-lights out of me?

So, this woman of substance AKA Smart Alecca, does an innocent U-turn. She confides to her mom. Now, as all moms are, her mom was too! One may ask what? TERRIFIED, I say!!

She drags Smart Alecca all the way to the family astrologer, a Mr. Know-it-all, dont we all have one? Incidentally, he also happens to interpret dreams/nightmares whatever. That trip called upon urgently for another one…only this trip would be another 1000 kms plus from Mumbai – the trip to the Kukke Subramanya temple only 100 kms from Mangalore, where my roots are!

Here, Lord Subramanya is worshiped in the form of a Cobra, so that was indeed an invite; a call from above! Legend has it that sarpa dosha (curse of a snake) may be pardoned here by the Lord Himself provided the appropriate pooja is performed. We performed one of the poojas as prescribed by our family doctor errr family astrologer!!

Guess what I prayed for, rather humbly and naively:

Vinny ki tammana hain ke Hero use mil jaye
Chahe meri jaan jaye, chahe mera dil jaye

P.S: I’m obliged to add useful footnotes for having wasted your precious time thus far blabbering about snakes, God, Snake-God, beliefs, superstition and the likes. So, here goes my A to Z tips on Beauty from the Kitchen!! (given that men too are beauty conscious)..For all men who aren’t, just ponder on the SAKA fairness cream ad – EVOLVE!

A for Aloe vera: It is the perfect cooling remedy for a sun-burnt skin. All you have to do is pluck a fresh aloe vera leaf and extract its gel. Apply it to the sun-burnt area and rinse it off after it dries. Repeat the procedure for some days. (a tip from the garden rather?)

B for ?(check out next post!)

Love, pain and other catalysts!

I often wonder as to what is the secret formula for an average Joe / Jane to turn into a ‘somebody’? (and now even more after the huge, emotional marathon of comments on my theory!!) How and when do they find that formula? Is it the urge germinating after years of being tagged as ‘average’? Is it a ‘natural trait’- like something which is inherited, like something which tells them ‘You have loads to give the world, so go on, get it out, what are you waiting for”? Or, is it some kind of inner transformation they go through, at a sub-conscious level, in the process of combating a broken heart, a broken dream, loss of a loved one or the general injustice/ imbalance prevailing in the world?

Well, I could come up with only my personal theories….err ideas!

I observed my own evolution; I observed the evolutions of folks around me; I read through autobiographies/ biographies and my conclusion was this:

All greatness was related to creativity, all creativity was in turn related to love, pain and other emotional catalysts !

Even a tiny piece of creative work comes from either of the emotions stated above, and immediately the average Joe / Jane would get tagged as great! The once-average-now-great wonders what happened to me? I’m only trying to overcome the pain – my sweetheart is no more; I’m only trying to survive – my dad’s no more! but what they don’t realise is this: In the process of overcoming , escaping or surviving pain, this pain serves as a catalyst in bringing them closer to their ‘inner self’, the ‘inner self’ – temple of infinite potential, wherein anything that can be ‘thought of’, can be ‘created’. When we look back at our roots, our parents and their roots and so on…, we see a chain of transformations occurring at major ‘emotional points’ – loss of a loved one or a beloved, separation from a place of childhood days, letting go of a much sought after desire, unable to live up to expectations of near ones, etc.

The pain is pierced at to let out to drip off….very much like the boil that is pierced at to let out the pus, knowing that not only will it cause more pain but also it is the only way to heal, the only way to move on! Leading to original, hereby unthought-of creations! Leading to better artists, poets, writers, musicians, dancers, singers, sculptors, inventors, etc.

Some of us here can undoubtedly relate this to their experiences while writing, is it not that the best piece comes from the worst pain?

Ending with two of my favourite lines from ‘Tujhse naraaz nahi..’ from the movie ‘Masoom’:

zindagi tere gham ne hamein rishte naye samjhaaye
mile jo hamein dhoop mein mile chhaon ke thande saaye

The Real Theory of Relativity!

OK! So, what’s this? Has Alecca the Smart, finally lost it? Is she hearing voices? Is she on unseen, unknown subtle planes? Or…has she started thinking!

Hah !

Not really, one may say it all just came to her – a million suns shone right through and a million sparks flew by! This theory just popped out amongst the peanuts she’s got in there! This theory which she wishes to share with the world – Let another million suns shine and another million sparks flow by…So here goes:

The Real Theory of Relativity
Dedicated to:
All who’ve known thy lover’s scorn,
Burnt thy fates unknown throughout
For true love, forgives none –
For true love, forgiveness knows not

L = T F square
where, L implies Love
                                                T implies Time and
                                                F implies Forgiveness

It all came when I was staring at nothingness or so it seems to my folks. Well, I cant say when or particularly pinpoint a time as one would note down for a newborn! But, It was more like an itch on the insides, no, not that insides, the grey matter insides where one dares to step on, who knows what devils are larking by? By thoughts, I was gloomy; by feelings, I was sad. But, by spirits, I was awake! Yes, and I say that for the record- my spirits were high, no not on RC or JW or Desi, rather one may imagine a high-spirited-euphoric-revelation kinda state, a state in which only the Divine Voices can be heard!

Having just gotten out of the cage, err.. I mean having come out of a relationship, I paused to look back, to feel the myriads of emotions once so intense, to take back all items of value, to wipe off all traces of selfishness, to mend all the broken dreams but imagine what I saw: A bright light with a silver-like hue ! and imagine what I heard:

“And all the blind with hearts of gold,
thine eyes can see but not behold
hath no rays that pass through gold,
hath no rays that pass through gold!
She stood before me, all naked but not cold –
the Truth as is forever to be told”.

And the Truth lies here…

Love is the eternal, the omnipotent; the ever stable life force. Time is the medium, the constant; it was, it is and it will be. Forgiveness is the multiplier factor, the more one forgives, the more it brings out Love. With Time being in a perpetual state of who-knows-the-beginning and who-knows-the-end, Love is growing or diminishing in much the same measure as does Forgiveness! As long as a single entity wishes to thrive, it must do so collectively in the absolute sense, thereby maintaining the Universal Equilibrium! So, my dear friends, waste not your precious time (in reading this!), but Forgive with a pure heart and Love would only have to multiply, etched on the sands of Time for eternity!

Credits: I would sincerely like to thank the below for saying what they said, for doing what they did, for just being there to cross my path, without which I wouldn’t have learnt this most amazing Real Theory of Relativity!

• All my lovers, past and present

• All I love, past and present
• When both of us were in love, only past… oops!
• Michael Bolton’s evergreen album – Time, Love and Tenderness!
……………….and last but not the least
• Our dear own, Mr. Albert Einstein, of course !

Good Bye!

Just two simple words, yet how difficult to say!

I dedicate this post to a very ‘special’ friend of mine.
‘Special’ not because he made me feel like an ‘Angel’, but rather I saw my dark side, the side which I never acknowledged, the side which I thought was a non-existing entity sticking on to me, the side which I preferred to see only in others, the side which I believed only others had !

He was my partner-in-crime. Of course, the criminal was me but he would never reveal it to anyone, making the crime so much more fun and the criminal more happy!

He was the priest at the confession counter! He would listen to my confessions without judging me. Hmmm, if only we all were like that!

He was my confidant, yes, I could tell him the most heinous crimes I have committed, am committing right now and plan to commit soon. I would even ask him suggestions for crime improvement!

He was my dustbin, always received the heaps of rubbish I would throw like a gift! This dustbin never complained!

He was my tear-sponge! He would just soak up all the waterworks and lighten me by a few tons at least. Hehehe

He had a great sense of colour, who else could tolerate my F-sprinkled lingo!
He made me ‘love’ myself; see myself through a more kinder heart and a less critical eye!

He made me ‘believe’ in myself, made the ‘blooming’ for real…unleashed the infinite within myself, helped me break ‘fear’ and realize my true potential.

So dear ‘Special’ friend, thank you for crossing my path and enriching it forever! With promises, the beautiful lessons learnt and always being aware of the dark in me, I move on. The Show Must Go On!
As all good things come to an end.. here comes the moment of truth… with loads of best wishes and brushing off a happy tear….Good Bye!

Another encounter …

The only constant in my life these days are the ‘encounters’ I’m having. Though infrequent, they happen nonetheless. And the sad thing is that, I have no control whatsoever! All hell breaks loose, once the horoscope results are positive. A date would be fixed for the ‘encounter’’. Not any date but a ‘good’ date based on “auspicious-ness” of the date.

In an ideal world, I should be delighted with this ‘encounter’; our horoscope match was a record 32.5 points ! Surely, the heavens had scripted our union, only this union would bring the much required marital bliss and whatnot… But, even the heavens weren’t aware, even the heavens didn’t know what I was to know on that late Sunday evening.

This guy was at the meeting place earlier than the schedule and immediately called me to say “yey !! me first me first” not in the same words though but it meant the same whatsoever. I reached at sharp 7, one look at him and I was sure the heavens have committed a grave crime; what were they thinking? For starters, he had blood shot eyes, enough to scare the angelic, innocent eyes I had! Fear crept in; somehow I knew the evening wouldn’t be a pleasant one. Let us give him a name. Let’s say ‘Mr. Red eyes’! So, this Mr. Red eyes does the ‘man thing’, he leads me to an eatery and after much jostling and compromising, we get a shared seat! Yes, the AC room was there; nearly empty, so cool, so inviting but Mr. Red eyes had other plans.

The mental questionnaire was shot at me rhythmically and systematically irrespective of whether I had finished answering the previous one or not, but who’s listening anyways! My answers would test our compatibility, just to confirm with the 32.5 the heavens had fixed. Quite pleased with the first two lines of any answer, he would shoot the next question at once. Time Management. I say!

The last thing I remember is getting a seat near the kitchen, me sweating like a pig and answering queries about horoscope, love and expectations.. Coming to expectations, when Mr. Red eyes realized that my mouth was all dry and thirsty, he called for the waiter. I thought ‘OK, he’s human after all!” I asked for a chilled sprite, which fortunately wasn’t available, so I wondered what else would quench me, but before that Mr. Red eyes ordered for 2 hot coffees. Hmmm, expectations sure got fulfilled!

The next thing I remember is coming back to my smarts. All the while he talked about himself in a strange manner, something superior reeked out of him. I knew one thing for sure. I will repay him somehow and with interest. After listening keenly, I realized that he was proud by virtue of being born as ‘Brahmin’. The devil in me awakened at once. I knew how to repay!

I told him all kinds of stories about Brahmins and how stupid they can really get sometimes. he he he… that set him up, all fire’n’smoke in the cockpit (pun intended). All you people do is eat smelly fish and other creatures, you have never learnt, analyzed or documented any holy scripture; nor will you be able to do so with your brick-heads. We come directly from the Aryan race, Tamil (his language) was developed from Sanskrit and is the mother of all Dravidian languages and so on and so forth…(By the way, aren’t the Aryans and Dravidians two separate races?)

Anyways, who cared? Triumphant as I was at that time, I realized his chattering about himself ceased and he began to look at me with curiosity. I’m sure he was wondering how can the heavens choose a lowly Dravidian woman with a Big Mouth for a princely Aryan man who is god’s gift to any woman!

Well, after that I had the time of my life. I said the coffee was really good, the ambience was just amazing and how grateful I was that we met here and so on and so forth…He was glaring all the time!

So that was it. Another of these encounters over! I wonder how many marks did I score in the questionnaire after all that gyaan on the races! Mr. Red eyes didn’t call back. Thank Heavens for that!

Of reactions and responses, recurring….and how!

I punched and pierced,
banged and beat,
screamed and shredded;
Damn these thoughts, they never still..
My aim being to observe:
Everything As IS.
If only, my thoughts
would permit me this!

It finally happened at the end of the year and the year was the year gone by i.e. 2007. The month was December, a month to sit back and analyze one’s self development, one’s accomplishments or rather the lack of it both personally and career wise. The most vital parameter to gauge oneself by is almost non-existent but I must say it’s gradually picking up momentum. Even as I write this, there are thousands searching for it, more thousands carrying the route map and thousands more struggling to walk the PATH. One may wonder, what is that ‘most vital parameter’? Hmmm… spiritual angle of self-growth!

December had set in like the gloomy results day at school! Looking back at how the year had begun, I was amazed at the sheer human spirit I had displayed! The lone, single woman: me, living alone in an alien city; the ‘committed’ yet ‘so far’ partner wandering to greener, younger pastures… the divine twist in the tale; my faith restored; my dignity safe guarded by the forces; my ever demanding boss… ready to raise the bar (usually at the nearby café). But, a new hassle had set in, a familiar discomfort… I felt like a failure; my insides had compressed, my hair grayed at a faster pace, my entire life flashed like a movie…the more I saw, the more I knew…. I’ve never really walked a path, any path at all… for every two steps forward, hmmmm, Providence pushed me one step backward! This year too is slipping away.

What was wrong? My thought process, my bad luck factor or worst still something eerie, something unknown, something which followed me like a thundercloud when it’s all sunshine for everyone!
I needed help. Had heard about a meditation camp… read more at their website… ten days of monastic life. No lies, no murder, no sex, no drugs, no alcohol, silence of mind and body! Also, in line with my company’s ‘Global Christmas Shutdown’! This was for me, what a way to correct a perfect disaster of a year, I signed up at once! Merry Christmas everyone!

The Teacher said “Observe your breath”.
Hmmm… what the …this is so simple. No deep long breaths, no one nostril breath, no inhuman posture; just plain and simple relaxing and observing one’s breath! I’m game for this… like I knew Providence was guiding me now, at last… kind of late but hey, I’m not complaining… Who knows… I might just live another hundred years or so on this divine Path!

Observe I did, man… so many mosquitoes during evening meditation, horrific stink during early morning meditation given the new ‘simple, divine’ meals, none of us were used to! The men busy observing the seriously meditating Americans, Europeans.. you know basically all the white skinned ones.

The Teacher said “Observe Within”.
Oh !! OK.. That’s simple. No big deal. I observed within……man, I was tired, slept so few hours compared to the hectic meditation for eleven and a half hours every day… my spine felt like a hot rod that needed some molding, my neck wasn’t mine, my knees were major pain centers; but surely Mother Providence loved me now, and soon her hand will brush away all my pain and I could see myself levitating at a higher plane!

Holy Christ … if only had I ceased talking.. talking to myself! Constant chatter…old buried memories got fresher. I began blasting at past people; scolded myself for having made the wrong choices all the time, cried out my heart with every loss I had been through, plotted revenge against lost people who had pierced my innocence, even planned a list of new year’s resolutions filled with conspiracy, lies and deceit!

The Teacher said ‘Only observe; do not analyze or react or respond; you are just an observer here’.
OK, right.
The Teacher said ‘There are no mistakes; only lessons to be learnt from them’.
The Teacher said ‘Everything is impermanent (anicchya); everything an illusion (maya)’.
The Teacher said ‘There are no unjustified acts; everything and everyone enact their respective roles, the director being Mother Nature’.

OK… then what the … am I doing here? How will this help improve my future mistakes..err sorry future experiences; everything I see is an illusion; all my torturers were instructed by God. I’m not supposed to react or respond… just a silent spectator who’s supposedly only allowed to observe her own role. OK then, so be it.

Meditation sure is hard work, one that involves perseverance, discipline, tolerance and sheer grit. I’m game for this but not now. It’s not the right time. I’m young.. I love to talk to myself… I mean despite the failures, loss and grief, I love to scold, blast, curse and pass comments. How could I ever be silent and only observe?