Har Blog kuch kehtha hain…

Ok! After this huge fiasco had ended and we both had decided to move on, I looked at my blog and tried to see through his eyes. Why did he want to see my stupid blog, even after I had threatened him with dire consequences if he does so? What’s the big deal if he follows it and why am I so possessive anyways! To solve this mystery, I transformed into a third identity, this time an un-named one though. Now, this third identity or character enters my blog for the first time…she digs up my precious archives and notes down any and every little thing of no significance whatsoever! By the time she starts from July and ends up till date, she is completely exhausted and her notebook is filled up till the very end, but her face is glowing with a kind of discovery that only Columbus must have felt on seeing land after so many months at sea!

I was quite taken aback with her expression and also sad that I couldnt see the same. She handed me her notebook and vanished into me! I was back as Vin, with her notebook in my trembling fingers and an anxious itch in my mind. What has she unearthed? What will I get to know? Will I ever be able to put down my thoughts, crazy or worse? But, there was nothing about my posts or my blog or about my beautiful template or my wonderful writing skills! She had noted down only about all her feelings and the little emotions triggered in her in the journey through my virtual life.

She felt warm tears welling up when she saw frustation, she felt joy when she saw happy moments, she felt a sense of despair and strength during the terror moments, she felt content at sheer creativity, she felt healed by the inspiring quotes. She had even learnt so much from my co-blogger’s, they gifted her the spices of their life, they encouraged her by sharing their experiences, they in turn added a different flavor to my posts which were otherwise quite boring! She thanked me at the end for sharing my moments here. I felt hollow, stupid and almost in tears…but enlightened!

To think that I wanted to close my blog once upon a time and worst still deprive a ‘thirsty’ soul, I feel healed now that the blog is up and running in all its glory! I made a final agreement with him and have invited him! He has promised not to communicate with me in any form!! Thank a million, Sen and folks…you guys stopped me from committing the gravest sin ever, forever in your debt! I can sleep in peace now! If my stupid blog can bring someone a little happiness, then why not?

A Fool’s Paradise!

I chanced upon this path
Misfortune, some folks say!
I trusted his honest eyes
Betrayal at its best

Enticed by his promise,
the undying, undiminishing
togetherness to eternity
I muted ‘The Voice Within’

Destiny, she drifts across
a new course, undecided
I bow in reverence to thee
my despair hasn’t subsided

The Lord acts strange
The Lord acts wise
I am his li’l puppet
Happy in a fool’s paradise!

Cyber Stalker

Ever heard about stalkers? Yeah, those ‘dreaded species’, most celebrities are scared to even think about! But, I’m no celebrity, am I? I always make it a point to stay away from flashlights, men-gossip and strutting my feathers, strongly believing that If I did that, I could successfully build an ‘un-interesting/ utterly boring’ image in such minds. No one would dare be interested in my nothing-happening-at-all LIFE. I thought my strategy was right; I thought I would be safe from ‘prying’ eyes’! Alas…not to be!

My case is a simple open-and-shut one, here I know ‘my stalker’s identity’! That’s why the blog went ‘Entry on invitation’ for some time, but this way even my readers were affected by this so-called stalker, what with sparing a few minutes for reading my crap posts, now the pain doubled – they had to login too!!! Since, it was private for many days, I thought he would get the point of ‘Access Denied’ to mean ‘Leave me alone’ or ‘Let me breathe’ or ‘Let me go!’, so I made it public and there you go, my stalker returns in clockwork precision and sticks on like a leech….and that’s an altogether new story. This ‘stalker’ keeps refreshing my blog URL like a 100 times each day to ‘analyze’ my thoughts, to read my ‘underlying’ feelings for god-knows-who! He reads my posts and all your comments and my replies to your comments. Then he does the same with all your posts. He is abreast of the latest happenings in this ‘new’ gang more than the gang itself! Utter nuisance for me but utter Timepass for him, I say!

A little background check on this stalker-jerk. It is obvious that he has no work to do in this life. He lives only for himself, but keeps blabbering about ‘sacrificing, giving and living for others’ all the time. Yeah, Right! At the moment, he is alive only to torture the hell out of me, what with my already happening life and the divine selflessness I’m surrounded with! I am done with the usual boorish contempt show, the bickering, etc. to clear any miscomprehensions he may have about me. I became the ‘ice maiden’ – not at all affected by the ‘pain’ and ‘torture’ that I AM inflicting him! (mind it, I say)

He is a big loser in all aspects of his life, isn’t that the case always! He cannot face the real world, he cannot face the ‘rejection’ brought upon him by his ‘own folks’, he cannot decide whether to stand up for a friend or let her get insulted or better still molested!! He makes a song and dance professing his undying, un-diminishing love, I-will-live-for-you-forever types. He emails, phone texts me. He tries to convince me any which way he can. See, I’m not as stupid as I look! I don’t understand why anyone would still linger around my space when I’ve shot point-blank a ‘LEAVE ME ALONE”. Can anyone tell me what language do ‘stalkers’ understand?

I have two options with me: a) Close my blog and b) Enforce restricted access.

Firstly, I was in pain and so decided to close my blog- no life.. no blog, luckily smart sense prevailed, my blog stills sees the light of the day and also of the tubelights! See, I have no other social life except for this virtual space! That explains the new theme and lively color… Vin was getting geared up for her new life!

I did enable restricted access, which kept him at bay, unmistakably also clarify my stand of ‘Let me go… let me breathe… But, fortunately, for him, it also kept at bay, many others who didn’t have gmail ids! I made it public, believing that decency demands, self-respect and ‘i-will-sacrifice-for-her-as-usual’ will keep him at bay.

But, my widget for ‘Live Traffic feed’ clearly proves the fact that he has stripped off all his decency, he has broken once again another rule of friendship (I doubt there was any!!), he has again stuck like a leech! All his denials are vain attempts to hoodwink me. He is stalking me again…I’m choking! Thank God, I’m miles away, but here it’s just an ‘enter’ key so how do I prosecute trespassers?

An Ode to Classical Ragas

My eyes are full of tears like raindrops,
yet my mind is still thirsty (for love).

This insane heart will not know
what game is being played.
This song which is full of sadness,
appears on my lips and
takes me to a far away place.
Although I have forgotten everything,
but I still remember few things.
My mind is still thirsty (for love).

The story is old.
I am trying to remember you.
I still cannot forget the swing of “sawan” (The monsoon season).
The seasons come and go
while leaving behind false comfort.
My mind is still thirsty (for love).

Many years have passed since we left each other.

In the sky, I can see the lightning as the streak of time
and I saw you in that lightning.
Hope and despair play the game of hide and seek with my mind.
My mind is still thirsty (for love).

Sounds familiar? 🙂 thats ‘Mere naina sawan bhado, phir bhi mera man pyaasa…’ sung by Kishore Kumar in ‘Mehbooba’ in Raga Shivranjani which is known to evoke the moods of romance and sorrow!! My one and only favorite sad love song. 
Today as I was humming it, my curiosity took the better of me, I realised a strange happiness in humming it…so began the research, was led to this link http://dr-narasinha-kamath.sulekha.com/blog/post/2008/06/mere-naina-saawan-bhado-sung-by-dr-kamath-dedicated.htm, and i’m glad I found this beautiful article…am storing it in my space for eternity….

A Brief Encounter with Startup-giri

                 ‘Imagine this world with the same concept of living but with a slight difference and this difference would be that of ‘communication’. What if, mankind spanning the entire globe expressed themselves using a single protocol. How would life be if we humans spoke, wrote, heard a single universal language? Would it be called a language in the first place? No, It would probably be the communication protocol for humans!
                 In real terms, this is not possible, but virtually it is. Electronic mail is the communication order of our times. What if, you wrote your mail in Hindi, but your bong friend received it in Bengali without you having to learn Bengali? Then, probably you wouldn’t learn French just to impress that beautiful French blonde you met online or maybe send an ‘I love you’ in all possible languages to your beloved!
                The possibilities are endless and so are your choices. And providing you with these choices is our challenge. We, at GlobalLanguageMail.com introduce ourselves as the worlds only portal for providing free email service in a language that you prefer.”

Most successful start-ups were born out of an idea. Young college kids, fire in their belly’s, bored of studies, put on their thinking caps one fine day and came up with this – a free email service provider which supports multi language conversion and unheard of in those times! And, what an idea! The kids tried for quite a long list of possible domain names, but sadly, all were taken except for this : ‘GlobalLanguageMail’. So, that was it. The kids registered and again put on their thinking caps to plan, innovate, co-ordinate, delegate and most of all market!

Some things happened, some didn’t, God knows best! The kids didnt find a VC. For the sake of non-dotcom folks, I would explain (in brief!) who or what is a VC? See, most brains rot when it succumbs to loads of money in the pockets, such brains cannot function any further. Hence, such brains ‘steal’ from brains which sit on top of ’empty pockets’. We call them VC’s or Venture Capitalists – these guys capitalise on poor guy’s venture and capitalise they do, big time! The kids were poor, they were still on pocket money (read neglible chillar); technology and time waits for no man or kid, so the ‘idea’ died off…The DOTCOM idea busted!

Today, as I was sorting some old papers, I came across this write-up that I had conceived years ago. Yes! I was the official Content Developer cum Designer, me being the English literate and the one member from Venus, the other three from Mars! Forgive me, guys:) Plain logic that girls are better at creating or designing content than ‘developing code’, ‘strategising’, ‘building core competence’ and other inane, perfectly avoidable tasks.

I put this here for the gang: me, P, S & B, so that when we reflect upon the past, we are reminded of the many things that ‘could have been’; the many paths that ‘could be taken’ and the many friends that ‘should be made’ ! Thanks gang for crossing my path…

Who me ?

……….You are a thinker, philosopher and an idealist. You have an even nature with a clear and sound mind. You are jolly and charming. You may not be very forthcoming with your feelings towards other people. Friendship means the world to you. You work well in groups. You have a deep interest in the psychic and occult sciences. You strive to do a lot for the mankind, given your planets favor you. You are artistic. You are diplomatic and can get your views across without hurting anyone. You are sociable and talkative and good company. You are quick witted with a very good sense of humor. You make friends easily and have no trouble keeping them.

Holy Christ! What a pack of bloody lies! And one would wonder who actually ‘buys’ all this stuff? I was tempted enough to buy the software; see, it said such good things about me. Naah..an ego booster this, just a trick as old as the hills – said, my inner voice. Or wait a minute, the machine can’t go wrong, its only ‘computing’ what its been fed! So, I checked and re-checked all the stuff that needed to be fed: my date of birth, place of birth and the time of birth. The place of birth also needed the exact longitude and latitude mentioned in degrees. Oh no! everything was right… Indeed, the output had to be an accurate one!

My dear friends, philosophers, guides and the permutations/combinations thereby possible with these three roles, as you all know by now, I am not blessed with most of the aforementioned qualities…well, almost!

Does the software have a bug then? Or is it coded with only positive vibrations? Or better still, is it scripted to ‘build the right self-image’ , to see themselves in a new light and not their own perceptions? Or come on, am i that good? BS, i say!

Mathematics can never deviate. Coded with only positive vibrations – almost next to impossible. Built to boost self-image — why on earth would an astrology software do that! So, by the method of deductive reasoning, one may deduce that the only reason remaining would be this…The output is accurate and in keeping with the qualities of Vin2. And did i say Vin2? One may ask, “Vin2.. who?” Well, Vin2 is the alter ego of Vin, thats me, the one who is typing now. Is there a need for a formal introduction? Naaah..We all have read the qualities she’s endowed with. Soon, she will have her own space…her own blog. Entry is free but restricted. Watch out, folks!


upon the grass i tread, as alone as the sun
fresh hues of green paint the countryside
and little drops of glittering wet diamonds
tease my naked feet, chill the fire within

specks of dust shining through the rays,
as guards protecting the celestial gates
the horror, the hurt, the throbbing pain
how do i beg thee for a wee bit of grace!

deep within were enflamed buried desires,
long lost and forgotten in mindless pursuit
i look more closely for signs of content,
but the carcasses lay, scattered eerily all over!

envious no more of the calm without
nameless, faceless pangs of guilt and doubt
i watch in silence, fearing to intrude
my conscience is eroded, self misconstrued!

My Dear Mumbai

She welcomes all
A warm embrace!
‘Gateway of India’
Her beauty ‘n grace!

Trusts her children
No matter the race
Balances unceasing greed
Never once doubts a deed!

Her heritage they destroy
Merciful heart is burnt
Their veil conceals, terror dictates
Sadly, no guts for a mutiny!

Wanders around her lone self;
Is love a contract or a bond?
If this be indeed gratitude,
Need it be paid thus?

This is my contribution to this week’s 3WW (Three Word Wednesday). Help spread the fight against terror.


of what is and what isn’t?
this i shall not ask,
of who did and who didn’t
this too i shan’t ask

they sweared on oath
they loved her most
and when she beckons-
would protect her post

she lay there still
betrayed and torn-
no voice to bring
alas, of her own!

while under siege
she held on hope,
the humbuggers all,
“look, who bears the oath!”

Love, pain and other catalysts!

I often wonder as to what is the secret formula for an average Joe / Jane to turn into a ‘somebody’? (and now even more after the huge, emotional marathon of comments on my theory!!) How and when do they find that formula? Is it the urge germinating after years of being tagged as ‘average’? Is it a ‘natural trait’- like something which is inherited, like something which tells them ‘You have loads to give the world, so go on, get it out, what are you waiting for”? Or, is it some kind of inner transformation they go through, at a sub-conscious level, in the process of combating a broken heart, a broken dream, loss of a loved one or the general injustice/ imbalance prevailing in the world?

Well, I could come up with only my personal theories….err ideas!

I observed my own evolution; I observed the evolutions of folks around me; I read through autobiographies/ biographies and my conclusion was this:

All greatness was related to creativity, all creativity was in turn related to love, pain and other emotional catalysts !

Even a tiny piece of creative work comes from either of the emotions stated above, and immediately the average Joe / Jane would get tagged as great! The once-average-now-great wonders what happened to me? I’m only trying to overcome the pain – my sweetheart is no more; I’m only trying to survive – my dad’s no more! but what they don’t realise is this: In the process of overcoming , escaping or surviving pain, this pain serves as a catalyst in bringing them closer to their ‘inner self’, the ‘inner self’ – temple of infinite potential, wherein anything that can be ‘thought of’, can be ‘created’. When we look back at our roots, our parents and their roots and so on…, we see a chain of transformations occurring at major ‘emotional points’ – loss of a loved one or a beloved, separation from a place of childhood days, letting go of a much sought after desire, unable to live up to expectations of near ones, etc.

The pain is pierced at to let out to drip off….very much like the boil that is pierced at to let out the pus, knowing that not only will it cause more pain but also it is the only way to heal, the only way to move on! Leading to original, hereby unthought-of creations! Leading to better artists, poets, writers, musicians, dancers, singers, sculptors, inventors, etc.

Some of us here can undoubtedly relate this to their experiences while writing, is it not that the best piece comes from the worst pain?

Ending with two of my favourite lines from ‘Tujhse naraaz nahi..’ from the movie ‘Masoom’:

zindagi tere gham ne hamein rishte naye samjhaaye
mile jo hamein dhoop mein mile chhaon ke thande saaye