Kasab and Karma!

In 1947, India faced an uncertain yet jubilant future sparked by the British retreat. The Congress and the Muslim league had major difference of opinion regarding the new independent nation. Jinnah of the Muslim league was of the ideology that a new nation needs to be established purely based on the Quran – the holy book of Islam and that true followers of Islam will not find justice in an independent India or Hindustan or Land of the Hindus. Gandhi, the apostle of non-violence, the father of the nation gave his nod. The British got to divide her although they no longer would rule!

Like every birth involves the umbilical separation, an emotionally evolving process, the birth of the new nation was too. It became to be called the ‘Partition’ and that new piece of land called Pakistan or the ‘Land of the Pure’.

In this Land of the Pure, some twenty years ago a boy named ‘Mohammad Ajmal Amir Kasab’ was born. They taught him Urdu and the Quran. They taught him the religious ways of what they believed to be pure and also the need to cleanse the impure as per the holy Quran. He believed that the Quran indeed sanctions killing innocents to restore the purity. He learnt dutifully as any staunch Muslim would do and should do.

He came to Mumbai along with nine other such ‘misled’ young boys on a cleansing mission. They did manage to cleanse the corruption that was quite rampant in Mumbai power circles but Allah knows if they cleansed any of the ‘impure’! Allah knows who’s mission it was that got fulfilled! They triggered quite a hysteric reaction among the common people who didn’t know where to go for help. Unfortunately, the other nine died in their cause, leaving Kasab to come to terms with his ‘learnings’ and the ‘fruits of his labor’. He does this in Arthur road jail in central Mumbai which is in the Land of the Hindus by the way.

Whiling away his time in prison, as Hindustan and Pakistan fight it out with a 11,000 page charge sheet against him, Karma, the cycle of cause and effect brings him face to face with Truth and Non-violence. He now reads the Urdu translation of the Mahatma’s autobiography ‘The Story of My Experiments with Truth’. Nearly, sixty years have passed with this influential book circling around the globe, but was there any possibility that this boy would read this book in the very land his ancestors had chosen to abandon?

Lessons learnt in the year gone by…

1) Never be obsessed with your name; it’s just a dead asset which never appreciates or depreciates in value no matter how beautiful your name is! The final judgment is not based on your name; rather it’s what you have achieved to live up to it.

2) A friend forever in need is a foe indeed! In fact, a foe can be dealt with but these – they can be classified rather as ‘parasitic organisms’ that believe in living off the sweet nectar prepared by some busy bees like you while they go fluttering awhile. You the busy bee wouldn’t even know what’s been eating you from within!

3) Never trust a woman’s tears; chances are that you would take an altogether dangerous path in the process of wiping them away – a path which no man has dared to ever take in an otherwise tranquil state of mind, and then realize that the path is a one way and her tears: the perpetual waterworks gifted to her as an organ of offence and defense.

4) Sympathy is the most inhuman emotion; not even for your enemy should you show any sympathy. Every one of us wants a fair fight, a fair strife, a fair share – no matter which side we are on…even the physically challenged! Never confuse sympathy towards a friend as ‘love’: it is everything but love which springs from respect and acknowledgement of man’s true potential.

5) Look at the donkey seriously. It carries burden without any appreciation or expectation of concern ever, moreover it never complains, though tired and moves on in the present state as if there is no tomorrow. Next time, be grateful if someone calls you an ‘ass’ and direct them to this post!

6) Forgiveness is difficult but the only path to freedom, agreed! So, always start forgiveness as a ‘down payment’ followed by monthly installments. This attitude to ‘forgive’ always works than trying to forgive all at once, which more often leaves open scars. Who knows, in the process…one day forgiveness might come as a natural response to hurt!

7) Learn respect for duty as a higher form of love from the trees. Trees will live only silently; do their duty without a sigh – never heard of a tree that stopped giving sweet fruits since some insane human cut its branches or cut it off altogether. The tree is wise enough to gift its wood for our shelter as if its fruits are not sufficient reciprocal to mankind’s barter.

8) Kidnapping a child is not always bad. A child when it is a prostitute’s one especially should be kidnapped and gifted to ‘childless’ couples. There is no other ‘shameful’ childhood than being a whore’s kid even malnutrition and nakedness can be outgrown but the shame associated with such roots always leads to ‘dis-associated’ adults.

9) I will fail at first, maybe second, maybe many more times; but same was the case with Einstein, Newton and other ‘normal’ geniuses. Every idea or thought has its purpose already defined before originating. A time will come when that idea or thought has fulfilled its purpose; in whose action has it fulfilled its purpose is nobody’s matter. So carry on, be humble. I am just a vehicle.

10) Never take a loan. Being in debt is akin to donating your spine to the devil, neither the devil wants to return it nor will it be returned in all its glory. The only loan we have to accept and continue to repay is that of our Mother’s womb, no amount however large is sufficient enough to tilt the balance in our favor!

11) All energy or matter that forms our beautiful world listens. If I have got pain, it is because I asked for it. Now on, I will ask only for happiness and cease my analysis and judgments for once. God is our loving father indeed!

12) Rub my slate clean. Start afresh. Even a scribble here and there and I will never set out to do whatever I originally intended. So, wishing you all a Fresh New Year!

Eternal Quest

A mere speck of dust,
I imagine myself to be
A negligible fraction,
naive mathematicians foresee

Eternity, my inner form;
Cosmic, my divine state
I float forever in His grace;
in unceasing, constant debate

In exploit, in rhythm, I rise;
in silence, in void, I remain
One tiny grain of matter,
but mighty self in vain

I drift across thy chartered course,
In a chaotic hope to repay
The infinite debt of thy womb,
my reflection so to say

As in dark ocean depths,
hide secret desires so often
Every trifle of dust or spot of grain,
Longs an oyster to relieve from thy pain

To free, to reignite the ancestral shine
To create, to sow pearls of wisdom divine
Me, my essence and the eternal quest
Remains unanswered till the final test!

on the Wings of Prayer

Just close your eyes and Open your heart,
and feel your worries and cares depart
Just yield yourself to the Father above,
and let Him hold you secure in his love

For life on earth grows more involved
with endless problems that can’t be solved,
but God only asks us to do our best,
then He will ‘take over’ and finish the rest.

So when you are tired, discouraged and blue,
there’s always one door that is open to you,
and that is the door to ‘The House of Prayer’,
and you’ll find God waiting to meet you there.

And ‘The House of Prayer’ is no farther away,
than the quiet spot where you kneel and pray.
For the heart is the temple when God is there
as we place ourselves in His loving care.

And He hears every prayer and answers each one,
when we pray in His name ‘Thy will be done’.
And the burdens that seemed too heavy to bear
are lifted away on ‘The Wings of Prayer’.

I have carried this little poem with me right from school – so many changes, so many purses but this little piece of paper still remains with me! I don’t know its significance nor am I an expert in the power of faith healing, but reading this poem in times of solitude, grief or pure devotion, has only lifted me higher. Maybe, it does have some power after all. Today, on this beautiful occasion of Christmas, I share this simple yet powerful poem. Celebrating the birth of the holy Christ, may this poem help one and all.

Thank you, God!

Hello God,

If you happen to stumble upon this post, an event for which I believe the probability is 0.00000000009999 since its titled and labelled with you, so that means you ‘will stumble upon’ my post, I want to let you know quite a few things. Not that I fear you or expect any favors for entry to heaven, but nevertheless, you need to know what Vin really thought about you and thinks about you, albeit you seldom do much in keeping with her wishes. Still…

Let me refresh your memory, in case you rely on such human tools. I belong to a wonderful set of ‘family’, for starters we are a group of ‘self-styled combat warriors’, the only pinch is of the uniquely distinct styles each one of us possess. So, lets not talk about how the family chariot moves on with all the wheels pointing in the ten directions, so anchored as a rock, just as you! So, now you know who I am. Lets proceed further..

When I was little, my mom said ‘God is watching all our actions and will punish us for our lies’. I thought ‘Let me not take a chance… I never lied’. Meantime, all my elder siblings lied and went scott-free from mom’s cane, whereas me would be decorated with long red bumps. I wondered then, ‘Why is God not punishing them?’. Gradually, the questions increased, every time i joined my hands in prayer at the small temple at home, I saw an image of you smiling away to glory. I didnt know it then, the reason for your smile, but maybe now I do! Nevertheless, I trusted you and prayed to you and begged you for a new set of crayons, a new drawing book, a new story book, a new dress, a new shoe… more quality time with my ‘ever so busy’ dad! But, you only smiled! Some answer to a little toddler’s prayer!

The toddler grew up, the prayers continued but you only smiled! I prayed, i stuggled, i worked hard to make both ends meet, while you were smiling your glorious smile! They say ‘God alone knows’, so maybe you do know, when exactly i stopped praying or rather my style of praying. Maybe, you felt bad, because you stopped smiling at the temple. But, you know what, I had begun to worship people. They were the ones running this ‘loka’, they were the real heroes, each one of them striving towards achieving their desires, while joining forces to achieve collective desires. We, the people were running the show!

But with two elder brothers living the spiritual life and me living the ‘doubtful’ life, a debate was inevitable. I was lectured about your cosmic laws and stuff. I failed miserably in the debate followed with the toughest questions, ‘Why are the successful people, always the ones who believe in themselves, believe in the power within?’, ‘Why some things never shape the way you want?’, ‘Why some street urchins go on to become major contributors to society?, etc, etc. You must have heard it in my home, if you had happened to tune in, what with my entire neighbourhood tuned in! Then, I realised who is the real hero..who is the script writer… who is the pupeteer..who is calling all the shots ??? Then I realised why you only smiled your glorious smile.

So, here I am at your doorstep, with hands joined humbly, Please forgive me, God. I will never stop praying again. I have a lot to thank for, yes, i really do. You saved me from evil, you carried me through my disbelief, you tolerated my anger, you even sent me friends who did the same! You opened a door when all others were shut on me. You are a tough coach but now i know why! So, Thank you, God and trust me there’s no sarcasm here!

Yours Gratefully,


Love, pain and other catalysts!

I often wonder as to what is the secret formula for an average Joe / Jane to turn into a ‘somebody’? (and now even more after the huge, emotional marathon of comments on my theory!!) How and when do they find that formula? Is it the urge germinating after years of being tagged as ‘average’? Is it a ‘natural trait’- like something which is inherited, like something which tells them ‘You have loads to give the world, so go on, get it out, what are you waiting for”? Or, is it some kind of inner transformation they go through, at a sub-conscious level, in the process of combating a broken heart, a broken dream, loss of a loved one or the general injustice/ imbalance prevailing in the world?

Well, I could come up with only my personal theories….err ideas!

I observed my own evolution; I observed the evolutions of folks around me; I read through autobiographies/ biographies and my conclusion was this:

All greatness was related to creativity, all creativity was in turn related to love, pain and other emotional catalysts !

Even a tiny piece of creative work comes from either of the emotions stated above, and immediately the average Joe / Jane would get tagged as great! The once-average-now-great wonders what happened to me? I’m only trying to overcome the pain – my sweetheart is no more; I’m only trying to survive – my dad’s no more! but what they don’t realise is this: In the process of overcoming , escaping or surviving pain, this pain serves as a catalyst in bringing them closer to their ‘inner self’, the ‘inner self’ – temple of infinite potential, wherein anything that can be ‘thought of’, can be ‘created’. When we look back at our roots, our parents and their roots and so on…, we see a chain of transformations occurring at major ‘emotional points’ – loss of a loved one or a beloved, separation from a place of childhood days, letting go of a much sought after desire, unable to live up to expectations of near ones, etc.

The pain is pierced at to let out to drip off….very much like the boil that is pierced at to let out the pus, knowing that not only will it cause more pain but also it is the only way to heal, the only way to move on! Leading to original, hereby unthought-of creations! Leading to better artists, poets, writers, musicians, dancers, singers, sculptors, inventors, etc.

Some of us here can undoubtedly relate this to their experiences while writing, is it not that the best piece comes from the worst pain?

Ending with two of my favourite lines from ‘Tujhse naraaz nahi..’ from the movie ‘Masoom’:

zindagi tere gham ne hamein rishte naye samjhaaye
mile jo hamein dhoop mein mile chhaon ke thande saaye

The Real Theory of Relativity!

OK! So, what’s this? Has Alecca the Smart, finally lost it? Is she hearing voices? Is she on unseen, unknown subtle planes? Or…has she started thinking!

Hah !

Not really, one may say it all just came to her – a million suns shone right through and a million sparks flew by! This theory just popped out amongst the peanuts she’s got in there! This theory which she wishes to share with the world – Let another million suns shine and another million sparks flow by…So here goes:

The Real Theory of Relativity
Dedicated to:
All who’ve known thy lover’s scorn,
Burnt thy fates unknown throughout
For true love, forgives none –
For true love, forgiveness knows not

L = T F square
where, L implies Love
                                                T implies Time and
                                                F implies Forgiveness

It all came when I was staring at nothingness or so it seems to my folks. Well, I cant say when or particularly pinpoint a time as one would note down for a newborn! But, It was more like an itch on the insides, no, not that insides, the grey matter insides where one dares to step on, who knows what devils are larking by? By thoughts, I was gloomy; by feelings, I was sad. But, by spirits, I was awake! Yes, and I say that for the record- my spirits were high, no not on RC or JW or Desi, rather one may imagine a high-spirited-euphoric-revelation kinda state, a state in which only the Divine Voices can be heard!

Having just gotten out of the cage, err.. I mean having come out of a relationship, I paused to look back, to feel the myriads of emotions once so intense, to take back all items of value, to wipe off all traces of selfishness, to mend all the broken dreams but imagine what I saw: A bright light with a silver-like hue ! and imagine what I heard:

“And all the blind with hearts of gold,
thine eyes can see but not behold
hath no rays that pass through gold,
hath no rays that pass through gold!
She stood before me, all naked but not cold –
the Truth as is forever to be told”.

And the Truth lies here…

Love is the eternal, the omnipotent; the ever stable life force. Time is the medium, the constant; it was, it is and it will be. Forgiveness is the multiplier factor, the more one forgives, the more it brings out Love. With Time being in a perpetual state of who-knows-the-beginning and who-knows-the-end, Love is growing or diminishing in much the same measure as does Forgiveness! As long as a single entity wishes to thrive, it must do so collectively in the absolute sense, thereby maintaining the Universal Equilibrium! So, my dear friends, waste not your precious time (in reading this!), but Forgive with a pure heart and Love would only have to multiply, etched on the sands of Time for eternity!

Credits: I would sincerely like to thank the below for saying what they said, for doing what they did, for just being there to cross my path, without which I wouldn’t have learnt this most amazing Real Theory of Relativity!

• All my lovers, past and present

• All I love, past and present
• When both of us were in love, only past… oops!
• Michael Bolton’s evergreen album – Time, Love and Tenderness!
……………….and last but not the least
• Our dear own, Mr. Albert Einstein, of course !

Of reactions and responses, recurring….and how!

I punched and pierced,
banged and beat,
screamed and shredded;
Damn these thoughts, they never still..
My aim being to observe:
Everything As IS.
If only, my thoughts
would permit me this!

It finally happened at the end of the year and the year was the year gone by i.e. 2007. The month was December, a month to sit back and analyze one’s self development, one’s accomplishments or rather the lack of it both personally and career wise. The most vital parameter to gauge oneself by is almost non-existent but I must say it’s gradually picking up momentum. Even as I write this, there are thousands searching for it, more thousands carrying the route map and thousands more struggling to walk the PATH. One may wonder, what is that ‘most vital parameter’? Hmmm… spiritual angle of self-growth!

December had set in like the gloomy results day at school! Looking back at how the year had begun, I was amazed at the sheer human spirit I had displayed! The lone, single woman: me, living alone in an alien city; the ‘committed’ yet ‘so far’ partner wandering to greener, younger pastures… the divine twist in the tale; my faith restored; my dignity safe guarded by the forces; my ever demanding boss… ready to raise the bar (usually at the nearby café). But, a new hassle had set in, a familiar discomfort… I felt like a failure; my insides had compressed, my hair grayed at a faster pace, my entire life flashed like a movie…the more I saw, the more I knew…. I’ve never really walked a path, any path at all… for every two steps forward, hmmmm, Providence pushed me one step backward! This year too is slipping away.

What was wrong? My thought process, my bad luck factor or worst still something eerie, something unknown, something which followed me like a thundercloud when it’s all sunshine for everyone!
I needed help. Had heard about a meditation camp… read more at their website… ten days of monastic life. No lies, no murder, no sex, no drugs, no alcohol, silence of mind and body! Also, in line with my company’s ‘Global Christmas Shutdown’! This was for me, what a way to correct a perfect disaster of a year, I signed up at once! Merry Christmas everyone!

The Teacher said “Observe your breath”.
Hmmm… what the …this is so simple. No deep long breaths, no one nostril breath, no inhuman posture; just plain and simple relaxing and observing one’s breath! I’m game for this… like I knew Providence was guiding me now, at last… kind of late but hey, I’m not complaining… Who knows… I might just live another hundred years or so on this divine Path!

Observe I did, man… so many mosquitoes during evening meditation, horrific stink during early morning meditation given the new ‘simple, divine’ meals, none of us were used to! The men busy observing the seriously meditating Americans, Europeans.. you know basically all the white skinned ones.

The Teacher said “Observe Within”.
Oh !! OK.. That’s simple. No big deal. I observed within……man, I was tired, slept so few hours compared to the hectic meditation for eleven and a half hours every day… my spine felt like a hot rod that needed some molding, my neck wasn’t mine, my knees were major pain centers; but surely Mother Providence loved me now, and soon her hand will brush away all my pain and I could see myself levitating at a higher plane!

Holy Christ … if only had I ceased talking.. talking to myself! Constant chatter…old buried memories got fresher. I began blasting at past people; scolded myself for having made the wrong choices all the time, cried out my heart with every loss I had been through, plotted revenge against lost people who had pierced my innocence, even planned a list of new year’s resolutions filled with conspiracy, lies and deceit!

The Teacher said ‘Only observe; do not analyze or react or respond; you are just an observer here’.
OK, right.
The Teacher said ‘There are no mistakes; only lessons to be learnt from them’.
The Teacher said ‘Everything is impermanent (anicchya); everything an illusion (maya)’.
The Teacher said ‘There are no unjustified acts; everything and everyone enact their respective roles, the director being Mother Nature’.

OK… then what the … am I doing here? How will this help improve my future mistakes..err sorry future experiences; everything I see is an illusion; all my torturers were instructed by God. I’m not supposed to react or respond… just a silent spectator who’s supposedly only allowed to observe her own role. OK then, so be it.

Meditation sure is hard work, one that involves perseverance, discipline, tolerance and sheer grit. I’m game for this but not now. It’s not the right time. I’m young.. I love to talk to myself… I mean despite the failures, loss and grief, I love to scold, blast, curse and pass comments. How could I ever be silent and only observe?